Two years ago I wrote a post on how to make the most of Valentine’s Day when you’re single – you can read that here. This post is kinda similar, but kinda not as I’m going to touch upon some area’s of Valentine’s Day that some of us just don’t want to think about or mention…
Ya wanna know what it is?….
Course you do.
WHADAFUQ DOES ONE DO ON VALENTINE’S DAY WHEN YOU’RE SINGLE BUT NOT SINGLE BUT DEEP DOWN DEFO ARE SINGLE, BUT YOU’RE KINDA FUCKING SOMEONE….BUT STILL SINGLE??
If you read that and now thinking thanks bitch: you’re welcome. We need to talk about it. We need to address the elephant in the room because I know so many of you are getting mad anxiety at the thought of what’s going to happen to you on Friday 14th February.
Chances are if you are single, you will fall into one of the two following categories:
1. Single single. Phone dry like backfoot single.
2. Single but dating/talking to people.
If you’re the first then presumably Valentine’s Day is just another day in the office and you’re feelings towards it are neither here nor there. Often when we’re reallllly single we’re able to take a step back and just think ‘meh’. Because we have nothing or no one to worry about. Good times? Not sure. Maybe. Sometimes.
If you’re the second then boy oh boy are you in for a ride. Thorpe Park settings. This can either be make or break. Meeting someone not long before Valentine’s Day can be sticky.
Here are a few scenario’s you may find yourself in:
1. You’re unsure whether you’re the only one. You desperately want your guy to (at least) invite you round or be chatting to you throughout the night to avoid the panic of wondering whether they’re with anyone else.
2. You don’t want to appear needy or too serious but fancy doing something fun with the person you’re talking to, because why not? Now you’re debating whether to bring it up or leave it as it might give mixed messages about where you’re at in the relationship.
3. Your guy has no interest in acknowledging the day and it makes you wonder if he’d be ‘that type’ of guy in a relationship, too. You know the one… THE ONE’S WE HATE.
As a chronic over-thinker the only real advice I can give is live your truth and do what you gotta do. We spend so much time fretting over whether we should send certain messages or say certain things and all we end up doing is creating 100 different problems for ourselves. You have to remember that the severity of what you’re feeling is actually very minuscule on the grand schemes of things. The heightened anxiety or fear is insignificant once you stop getting in your own way.
The best way to survive Valentine’s Day during this phase in your life is to understand that either way – you’re good. If the man you’re dating is wishy washy and is struggling to commit to you, do you want him anyway? There’s a fine line between dating around until you find the one and dating someone who just wants lots of options.
If the man you’re dating wants to go out with his boys because the football is on and purely for no other reason than because you’ve only been talking two weeks, is that not a sign that he has an active and healthy social life (which trust me, you will want him to have longterm) and that he IS interested in you, just isn’t keen to go full throttle yet?
Conclusion
Regardless of the scenario – always put yourself first. Try (because I know it’s hard) to not get caught up in the logistics and worry about your worth or how much you mean to someone based on whether they’re tryna fuck you on Valentine’s Day or not. If you really are worried that your boo is going to be tucked up with someone else, refer back to the previous paragraph and do what you have to do. Ask him. Message him. Organise a night with your bestie. Keep busy. At the end of the day you aint gon’ die.
Ultimately, celebrate being single and free. This isn’t a day to start moving depressed because it is not that deep. Show gratitude to the loved ones in your life and your time to be whisked away to Paris for the weekend will be pending when the time is right.
I will list below a selection of self help books which may help you on your self love journey and aid any harrowing thoughts of February 14th as a single but not but kinda definitely are single girl.
Always remember: You Got This. You’re Good.
As always leave a comment, say hello x
BACKFOOT?? looooool