Not only am I now in my thirties, I’m actually closer to 35 than I am to 30 so I’ve had enough time to ruminate on life gone by and reflect on what I’ve learnt, what has worked and what hasn’t, etc.
I personally feel that it is true what they say about your 30s – it is just your 20s with a bit more wisdom and hopefully more money. While I’m not a millionaire yet and I do often still find myself in predicaments that you might encounter in your 20s the way I feel and deal with everything now has undoubtedly changed. There is a misconception about age that once you experience something you should automatically know how to avoid it ever happening again but that’s just not realistic. Your favourite CEO’s have probably been broke more times than they have rich and that couple who have been together forever probably still aren’t sure how to stop arguing over that one stupid thing that crops up at least once a month, but alas…
Here is a list of things I have learnt since being 30
- You suddenly just *don’t care* anymore. Okay, correction, there’ll be many things you care about but you will notice an overwhelming energy shift towards things you just don’t care about. Out of nowhere you decide to pick your battles differently and stop entertaining anything that is boring, tiresome or not in alignment with what you want.
- You actually acknowledge the lessons from your past. Within many experiences that we go through there is often a lesson or some type of reflection, but it isn’t until you touch 30 where you actually verbally acknowledge what the lesson was and how glaringly obvious it is. You can almost speak on it like it’s your career. The way I can fluently discuss standards, self-esteem and signs of abuse like I have a degree in psychology and relationships is quite impressive because why couldn’t I do that a couple of years ago? The only thing that’s changed is my age on the birthday card. It’s like an ‘ah ha!’ moment, truly.
- Your knees really are finished. It’s over.
- 20s are not your prime beauty years. Just look at me. Enough said.
- You will change your mind about things and that is a sign of strength, not weakness. Your brain is malleable and constantly adjusting and a man who cannot adjust to another mans way of thinking or bring himself to say “I thought X but actually upon hearing your story I now understand Y” is not a man who you need to be having conversations with.
- Being alone is better than being in the wrong relationship. Leaving what isn’t serving you isn’t always easy but babyyy once you are out and single? It is joyous. The level of calm you feel you just cannot and won’t experience in your 20s. In your 20s even when you’re single it’s still kinda chaotic. Don’t lie to me and say it isn’t…
- Staying in truly is peaceful. Work finish 5PM Friday and what’s got you excited is getting into bed at 9PM? Absolutely. You don’t need to be everywhere all of the time.
- BUT when you do go out, you know exactly how to navigate the evening to ensure you have the best time. Our younger years are full of precious memories but our nostalgia conveniently makes us forget the drunk tears, angry tantrums, arguments or broken feet. Going out in your 30s definitely gives ‘grown and sexy’ vibes. I can’t explain it but you’ll know.
- Everyone is still winging it. Social media does a great job at making us feel inferior or spend our time comparing our achievements but when you speak to other people in their 30s they will all proudly tell you they’re winging it and with that comes a shared understanding that just isn’t really there in your 20s. You’re more compassionate and realistic about how life can be.
- Your friendship circle getting smaller is not a bad thing, although it may hurt. You can finally breathe knowing you don’t have to appease different groups of people or have anxiety about what that *one* friend might say or think .
- Life has more purpose. That’s not to say people aren’t leading fulfilling lives already in their 20s but literally everything just becomes a little more purposeful and serious to you in your 30s.
Many of you will read this and think “hmm I feel like I already relate to most of this” and it’s probably true but it is something you actually have to experience to understand. You might be smashing life and only 25 but I guarantee you when you’re 32 things will just appear and feel that tiny bit different.
For women particularly but also men, there is that bittersweet feeling of knowing you’re still really young but also approaching a certain place in time where you can’t really mess around and let it all go to waste. This just means all of the decisions you make have a little more flare and direction to them, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you rush for anything to happen. For me even though I have days where I wish I had certain things already I always just try put things into perspective. Firstly, all in God’s timing, and secondly, would I have even truly wanted it if I got given it 5, 6, 7 years ago?
Relationships for example – I am a lover girl and like most women I want the cute husband, his finances (hehe) and maybe a dog and/or some children. I’ve had relationships that I’ve hoped would last but thankfully they didn’t.
Before I offend anyone we are all on different paths and it is personal to us, but really and truly I can’t think of anything worse than marrying who I thought I loved at 21. Not because of who that person was, but just being married at 21 lol. I’ve had the freedom to make choices without consulting anybody, make memories I possibly might not have been able to make if I was settled down, met numerous amazing people and bought the Louboutin’s instead of school shoes. Meeting your person later on in life is one thing I’ve learnt to be grateful for. If I meet him tomorrow and we live a fruitful life until we’re 90 who cares that I didn’t meet him 8 years ago? Not meee.
If you are part of the 30s gang let me know what you have learnt or what feels remarkably different now than before, and if you’re not yet 30 tell me what you’re excited for or even scared to experience?!