I only came across love languages last year but it seems more and more of us are looking deeper inside ourselves to truly analyse our preferences in order to secure the right partner (or like me you just hate everyone and somethings got to bloody give?!).
Gary Chapman devised this idea that we all have emotional communication preferences, which kind of makes sense when you think about it. We all love differently, and it would be selfish to expect another person to love in exactly the same way as we do; this is what commonly causes problems inside of a relationship. You may feel your partner just doesn’t care or isn’t interested in your emotional needs but it may simply be that your partner has other ways of investing their love which doesn’t quite align with your preferences, thus making it seem that you are walking a one-way street.
The 5 love languages I am talking about are:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Physical touch
Gary Chapman like a real G has provided us with a test which highlights the best love language suited to our needs via a selection of pairing questions. Your answers will help you understand where your emotions lie, further helping you build deep, connective bonds in the future.
Before doing the test here, have a read of what each love language represents:
Words of affirmation
Words of affirmation are words that build someone up. If this is your primary love language, it means the world to you when you receive unsolicited compliments, hear the words “I love you” and the reasons behind that love. Insults can break your heart and leave lasting scars.
Acts of service
If your partner offering to watch the kids so you can go to the gym (or relieving you of some other task) gets your heart going, then this is your love language. Someone who is a giver, and a caring soul.
Receiving gifts
If this is your primary language, you deeply treasure a gift or gesture that shows you are being thought of and cared for. Note, the value of the gift is often less important than the significance of the gift.
Quality time
If this is your primary language, you deeply value doing things together and receiving full, undivided attention from your spouse, including sharing quality conversations and activities. Distractions, postponed dates, or not being listened to can be especially hurtful to you
Physical touch
Physical touch can bring a sense of security and connection to any relationship. If this is your primary love language, you crave attention through care and love by thoughtful touches, hugs, kisses, pats on the back, and/ or sexual intercourse. Neglect or abuse can cause serious damage and hurt to you emotionally.
If you’re interested in finding out your love language, do the test and leave a comment letting me know your results. You may be rather surprised at what comes up… (I like trips to Selfridges but apparently I like quality time more…)