We’ve all pree’d someones social media before. If you tell me you haven’t you’re either a liar or you’re clapped and have no ex to stalk; I’ll leave that to you to think about.
Social media stalking is an unhealthy coping mechanism. You think it’s harmless and in the moment it brings some sense of connection between you both because what you’re doing is essentially catching up with someone, but via their interactions with other people. Creepy when said out loud, huh?
Our reasons for preeing our exes or the exes new girlfriends are very nonsensical. There are no logical reasons for secretively observing what people are up to, yet we do it anyway. What we don’t realise is the longer we do it, the longer we stay attached. The slower the healing process. The more enraged we get and the more conclusions we jump to.
Here are 8 ways to stop stalking your ex. Whether it’s your ex-boyfriend, ex-link, ex-love of your life, whoever:
- Kill him. You can’t stalk what is not alive.
- If you can’t kill him, put him in hospital. Two broken arms holding an iPhone 7+? Chaos.
- If you can’t put him in hospital, get him arrested. Can’t tweet if he’s too busy clutching the soap.
- If you can’t get him arrested, set him up. He can’t post on insta after he’s been rushed and exposed for wearing a fake Roley.
- If you can’t set him up, put him in debt. When the wifi cuts out his data usage will decrease dramatically.
- If you can’t put him in debt, snitch to his employer. You won’t see his profiles once he’s gone private after being issued an official warning.
- If you can’t snitch to his employer, send him a virus. He’ll have no time to snap when he’s paying 1k to get his laptop fixed.
- If you can’t send him a virus, revert back to tip number one
If you finally accomplished tip number one, watch How To Get Away With Murder ASAP. Thank me later.
There you have it. 8 simple ways to stop stalking your ex. If you have tried any of these handy tips in the past please do comment your stories below. If you’d like to contribute to my list please feel free to add in your helpful suggestions. Now go live your best life babygirl!
(If you’d actually like some serious advice on getting over a breakup, you can read one of my older posts ‘6 Initial Steps To Getting Over a Breakup‘ here) 🙂
As a male I would have to say this is slightly disturbing, also that would be 8 ways not nine!
…touché. I kinda ran out of oomph towards the end lol
Loved this!!! Creepy, yet funny!! Made me laugh when trying to picture someone actually getting around on doing any of these. Lovely, laura!! Keep coming! xx
Thank you honey, appreciate your reading! Xx