6 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Go With The Flow

“Don’t ever go with the flow. Be the flow”

It’s one of, if not the most common debates men and women have when it comes to dating; the pros and cons of ‘going with the flow’. Personally, it’s never worked for me. I’ve gone above and beyond for people who have told me “yeah babe it’s whatever init, go with the flow, either way, you’re mine” only to find out that I wasn’t theirs at all. lol, banter. I’ve wasted months waiting for clarity, spent hours trying to communicate only to still end up writing this damn article. Not all their fault, some mine. If I was more vocal in voicing my intentions and not allowing my efforts to be compromised I wouldn’t have let such people waste my time but a part of me kept the door open for them to do so; can’t really blame them too tough. But what it does mean is it’s so important to identify where you want to be and weigh up whether going with the flow is benefitting you or stressing you out. Are you in this for a long time or a fun time? That is the question you need to ask yourself.

This post lists 6 reasons why going with the flow isn’t a good idea:

1. First of all, Are you a river?
2. You’re not getting any younger.
   Look, if you’re 21/22 I’ll make small joke that you’re young enough to have your time wasted but in all seriousness, you don’t. Just think about how fast this year has gone by itself, and then imagine looking back and realising you’ve been in a situationship for 2 years already with nothing to show for it. Time flies.
3. You forget your worth.
   With each passing month of unanswered questions and no clarity on where you stand, you begin to forget about yourself, and how much of a catch you are. It’ll become the norm to not be a priority and before you know it you’re referring to point number 2.
4. You matter.
   As much as your partners wants and needs matter, so do yours. If he isn’t ready to commit and you are, find someone who is ready. Nothing worse than forcing somebody’s hand when they’re not all in. That’s not to say drop ultimatum bombs on every prospect you come across but if it’s been a sufficient amount of time and there’s no valid reason why you shouldn’t be together and his excuses are washed, consider looking elsewhere.
5. You’re potentially allowing them to still move single.
   Ever been in a situation where 18 months down the line you’re screaming at him for having sex with someone else, tears and pain all up in his face and he shouts back “YOU’RE NOT EVEN MY GIRL!”  Everyone has to die. The house will burn with us both in it. Not securing your place in someone’s heart will give them the freedom to move in ways that may not align with where you’re at mentally with the ‘relationship’. Allow it.
6. You lose your voice.
   Not literally, unless you shout loads which…why? Stop shouting. What I mean is you don’t really have much of a say when you’re not certified. Your voice is limited when someone isn’t technically yours. No one is obliged to give you loyalty, time and effort when you’re going with the flow even if you feel like it’s you two against the world. Don’t be fooled.

It’s time you stood firmly on your pretty little feet and confidently voiced your expectations and desires. If they’re not with it then please, keep it moving. There are so many people out there and one of them will absolutely want to sweep you off your feet without dragging you through the mud for 3 years first.

Have you ever gone with the flow and it worked out? Have you taken a back seat and wish you hadn’t wasted your time? Do you have any other reasons why going with the flow is a useless idea? Let me know in the comments below!