When we think back to being at school, we all wish life was as simple. Now that we’re adults we reminisce on the good old days which once seemed so hard. School was a funny place for me, as I recognise that my behaviours in school are the same behaviours I still adopt now. Welcome to the 14 year old me:
The day begins
It’s roughly 7am. Not sure where my uniform is but I do know that my fluffy pen, velvet giraffe keyring and mp3 player (which held about 9 songs) was in my backpack. I don’t listen to KRS One but I knew it was alternative so I’ve whacked him on there.
I’ve persuaded my mum to buy me Maybelline’s Dream Matte Mousse because I’m at an age now where foundation is imperative to my growth as a woman, duh. I pack that, along with my juicy tube clear gloss into my bag because I’m definitely going to be using it in the toilets at some point.
School is thriving. I arrive, do the rounds and say hello to everyone and strategically pull my silver chain out of my shirt for people to get a glimpse of. I think I look peng but ultimately I’m walking round with no eyebrows and my hair is so slicked onto my head I probably look like a potato. Still peng. The calibre of girls at my school must have been low.
I’m in maths and have absolutely no idea what’s going on. Before the teacher arrived I’d already written the lyrics to Chingy’s ‘right thurr’ across the board and stared lovingly at the mini poster of him I’d stuck into my diary. No one remotely gives a shit about him but I think it’s appropriate to sing loudly for some sort of attention. It’s important to note that I’m failing maths.
At break time I’m doing laps around the school, asking everyone if they ‘just have 10p?’ etc. Soon enough I’ve got about £2 and I buy myself a couple Lion bars from the vending machine. I never paid anyone back.
Another lesson and I’m faffing about in the toilets instead. Applying lipgloss, talking to myself, sitting on the benches. I get caught and start crying, lying that I’m going through some difficult shit and needed some time out. Essentially, I’m a fraud.
I still fancy Liam but I dunno, we’re going through it and not really talking. I heard Kieran fancies me but I’m not sure if I’m on it? I’ll have to ask the girls, and the boys, and the people in the year above… and possibly everyone in the lower years too. For clarity.
Afternoon is PE and this is where I show up and shine. PE is my middle name. Laura physical education Natalie. Captain of most teams, picked to play with the older girls, medals hanging off my neck like a chain dipped in VVS. I’ve customised my PE kit because clearly I’m an attention seeker. I had asked my mum to elasticate the bottoms so they weren’t swanging from my ankles, and I swapped my jacket with a girl in the year below so it fitted nicer. Tennis was one of the sports I wasn’t actually very good at but Lloyd and dem man were out by the courts so I had to firm it and pretend I knew how to backhand. Spent the whole lesson flirting. Got told off and threatened with being taken off the netball team. Whatever. Wouldn’t dare.
The day is drawing to a close and my pops is working in the ICT department. I go find him and tell him I want to stay behind and play some badminton. My brother is doing extra intervention for maths, science and English but I’m not really about all that, I just wanna play.
I’ve been speaking to my pals all day but as soon as I get home I rugby tackle my bro’s to the computer and claim first dibs on MSN. Mum’s on the phone and I don’t really understand why she’s disrespecting me like this. Finally get on MSN, change the song lyrics to Ashanti, take Liam out of the heart emoji’s and spend an hour or so chatting shit. Forgot all about the 3 sets of homework I’d been given. I’ll just cry tomorrow and make an excuse for why I hadn’t done it. Works every time.
See you tomorrow!
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Love, love this.
‘Chingy’… 😂😂
Haha honestly I remember it like it was yesterday. My class was fairly small and I wrote the whole chorus on the board 😀