I wrote a post some time ago highlighting a few signs that suggest when a woman isn’t into a man as much as he thinks she is and that sometimes assumptions get in the way of logical reasoning. You can read that post here.
If you’re dating someone and you identify with any of the following signs, it may be time to step out of the clouds and readjust your focus. Of course these are not set in stone and I am in no way an expert on the topic but a few of them are quite frankly common sense but when we’re whipped common sense is spoken in a foreign language. Sometimes people are just damn right impossible to read therefore these suggestions might appear to relate to a person but may not hold a whole amount of truth. Basically this post is a waste of time but I’m going to proceed anyway.
#1 He makes general statements in your direction rather than about you.
If your guy is churning out text messages that compliment you but could very easily compliment a handful of other women, maybe that’s exactly what he’s doing. I’ve always been a sucker to believe that when I’m speaking to a guy that he’s not speaking to anyone else but more often than not It’s been wishful thinking wish a splash of naivety.
Talking to a handful of people at one time is not deemed unacceptable and it is a good way of learning what makes you tick and what intrigues you about others but in today’s society especially it seems imperative to have this awk discussion because you may find yourself falling for someone who has 3 of you on their radar.
If he is very vague in his discussion and the conversation is usually quite flat or generalised then you might have to ask yourself how interested he really is.
#2 He simply answers all of your questions but never asks you any.
This leads on from #1 about vague discussion and how much effort is put in to getting to know you. Women are the devil when it comes to this and I’ve got to say it’s a trick I’ve used before to ensure someone gets the hint.
If you’re asking 101 questions and he’s answered 101 but asked none, it’s usually a clear sign that they aren’t interested in getting to know you and are in fear of giving you the wrong impression by asking you any. Cut your losses.
#3 He only calls when he wants to see you.
And he only wants to see you when he’s drunk or bored. If he never makes a plan to meet up with you or calls you just to ‘chat’ then chances are he’s using you to fill his time up when other arrangements have fallen through. There’s a reason he spontaneously wants to meet up and that’s because you’re second choice and the first one has bailed.
A lot of people who are in a casual position do not tend to communicate that often during the week or when they’re not arranging to hook up so if he’s not making that effort he may just want you when it suits him.
#4 He doesn’t remember a damn thing you’ve ever said.
When a guy is interested in you they will actually listen to what you’re saying believe it or not. Women are programmed to think that men are just rubbish listeners and have the memory of a goldfish therefore ignore the pain when they bring up a past conversation and the guy hasn’t got the foggiest idea what is going on. If he rarely remembers any details or doesn’t refer back to something you’ve said in the past he probably never will. Sometimes their memory is just rather shit but not for the entire time you’re hooking up..
#5 You’re always unsure of his feelings.
If you spend more time googling ‘is he into me’ than actually conversing with him about anything then you’ve probably got your answer before the page loads and you’re presented with a Yahoo link from 2007 where someone else asked the same stupid question.
#6 He’s never free.
Similar to #3, if he’s never free or seems to have every date in the diary booked up for whatever reason then he’s most likely trying to avoid making a date with you. Making a date with you means he either has to 1) go or 2) long out an awkward reply to cancel and let’s face it, none of us have got time for that. Something that takes two seconds ends up taking 8 hours because we just don’t know how to word it right.
#7 You know nothing about his family.
Not that family affairs are often brought up in the early stages of dating but you at least have an idea if he’s got any brothers or sisters or if his mum is Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada.
#8 He says one thing but does another.
When he’s drunk he says he will call you tomorrow but tomorrow comes and your phone is still sulking at its lack of vibration. They say actions speak louder than words and if all his words show no action then it’s game over – move on.
#9 He indirectly invites you places.
Oh yipee, an invite to a party… but wait, did HE invite YOU or did he casually mention to you and your mates that there was a party and anyone can go? If the only time he wants to see you is in a group setting or at 3am when he’s drunk then he may not care all that much for anything you’ve got to say. A man who likes a woman WILL make time for her and will man up and ask them out directly (unless he’s shy in which case he might write it on a napkin or something..)
#10 He reads the text and doesn’t reply.
Here we are – #10 the most gut wrenching of them all. It’s enough to make you find a chainsaw and hack down every tree or car wing mirror in sight and throw your phone across the room only to run after it and check if they’d replied in the time it took for you to throw it and pick it back up again.
No one is ever too busy to reply and we make so many excuses for why some people don’t. If a man is feeling you they will respond. Granted if his team are playing or he’s smashing COD then it may take them 30 minutes but they will let you know that in the reply. Some people aren’t massive fans of texting but it’s by far one of the best feelings having a two way flowing text convo with someone you like and anyone who disagrees is a liar.
If he rarely replies to your texts or answers blunt one word replies then he’s probably wanting you to leave him alone.
Can you guys relate to any of the above? Have you had your fair share of ‘he’s just not into you’ signs? Let me know in the comments below. Let it all out, cry if you need to. Also feel free to share your opinion or discuss anything you’ve read in the post 🙂
This is so true, sadly I swear this is the shitty dating cycle now!
I think it is you know 🙁