Ay look, I get it… I’ve been there. The man you want for whatever reason either hasn’t noticed you yet or made a move and it’s beginning to get you mad. Alternatively, the man you did have decided to cut you off and you weren’t quite ready. Either way, ya head is hot right?
It’s not an ideal situation to find yourself in and it’s becoming increasingly more evident that us women do not know how to appropriately handle the cards we are being dealt. I want to talk to you about being a backup dancer…
I’ve coined this phrase similar to how it would be used when one of the crew try to edge the limelight but in reality all they are is a sideman. The garlic bread. Do you want to be garlic bread? Didn’t think so; keep reading.
The Problem
Women have this habit of thrusting themselves into the headlights of a man that either doesn’t want them, has recently dumped them or hasn’t yet acknowledged them. Again, I’ve been there. Let’s say I’m talking from experience. Boohoo sad story
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Interacting and/or befriending other women you THINK he may be involved with
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Started wearing less and going out more *sings*
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Over compensating the social media updates
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Adjusting your beliefs and tone to fit a narrative you think he adheres by
I hate to break it to you, but your ‘man’ notices it all. Cringe. They can smell a change in behaviour a mile off and if you’re too overzealous you’ll give the game away before you’ve even warmed up. Doing back flips in this mans mentions when he’s interacting with someone else isn’t going to get you laid. Retweeting every girl he retweets isn’t going to prompt him to call you. Relax! Besides, chances are you think you’re built for competition but with each new woman you try and befriend, the more and more upset and angry you get with this man who isn’t your man. Where is the logic? Make it make sense.
You’re displaying perfect backup dancer behaviour here by indirectly being everywhere he is. Whether that’s online or in real life. You’re just there break dancing in the background like one extra in Step Up lmaoo. The best thing you can do in this scenario is continue living your life. A man will think about you if he wants to think about you and forcing yourself into his vision will only have adverse affects. Trying to befriend every woman he talks to will only encourage him to pursue the people you keep shouting “OMG LOOK AT YOU!!” at.
What Should You Do Then?
Essentially what I’m trying to say is being your own person and living by your own rules is the only positive things you can do, and usually, that in itself will attract the men you are so desperately trying to seek. Ever left a man alone and 3 months later he pops up out the blue? Whatever his intentions are, he’s thinking about you because you aren’t on his doorstep with chicken stew asking him to love you. I certainly need to G check myself in this area, particularly when something is taken away from me. I’m a brat like that. I wasn’t finished with you yet! Damnit.
Get your money up, focus on your glow and whoever is meant to be in your life will show themselves. Maybe your past backup dancer behaviour is all a blessing in disguise…
We live, we learn.
Good luck girls x
Here are some links to past posts which you may be interested in:
Case Of The Ex: Find Out In This Post Whether It’s Worth Staying Friends!